Sparks on your Umberella

You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see. I really love your peaches, want to shake your tree. Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time. Ooo-eee baby, I’ll sure show you a good time.

I think that my nerves are slowly (and by slowly I do mean quickly) getting the better of me. I woke up at 4am suddenly remembering the names of two people I’ve been meaning to add to Facebook. As soon as I got to the living room I realized that two bad things had happened:

1. I had closed my computer when I should have left it open to let songs download.
2. Spencer had unplugged the internet so he could use it for himself.

All in all, that means that the music that I’m compulsively downloading for the party was not downloading on our ultralite (ultraslow!) internet. I dicked around for a while and tried to get the wireless to cooperate, but of course it wouldn’t, so I went back to bed and fondled the kitten for a while before I started to feel sick. Now it’s quarter past 5 in the morning, I’ve slept for maybe 3 hours, I’ll be up all night with the party tonight and I just want to puke puke puke.

I’ve been calming my nerves by reading wall-to-wall posts between people on Facebook. Keeping the good Chi going. I’ve also been rehearsing the list of things I need to still buy. This paycheque had better be great or else I’m fucked.

After I pay off the massive Visa bill (paying for a Keg on a credit card is a stupid idea ladies and gents), I’ve still got to keep at least $90 aside for a halfie, I need to buy more at least a 26er of vodka for punch, juice, chips and stuff, I need to find a makeshift punchbowl or borrow one from Erik, and then I need to buy a sweet hippie outfit.

All in all, I’m going to be broke as heck! On top of that I’m fucking starving. Not in the cliche African way, but enough to be uncomfortable. In the future I will learn that sacrificing food for booze is not a good substitute, and I will also learn that putting of cooking and grocery shopping only leads to stomach wrenching agony. Literally.

Good lord, party time is commencing in T-15 hours. Pray, heathens, pray!

Let us go up in fire, let’s go up flying.

But that’s just his cover… From what is under it, all his imagination, his passion for a creation which he has discovered uncovered a world, of amazing sensations, his own little nation… I don’t care, I’m flying.

Crunch time comes before party time, and we sure are crunching down to the last minute. Yesterday Lauren went shopping for party things and picked up cupcake mix and muffin tins, streamers, balloons, flowers for our crowns, icing and a bunch of other neat things. All that’s left to pick up is our keg, I’m getting all of the weed after work for the brownies and then on Friday I’ll pick up a punchbowl and work on making the most delicious, alcoholic punch of life.

And then hopefully a party that will forever linger in my heart as the most awesome house warming party ever thrown.

Anyways, it’s been a good past few days, I’ve been working like crazy and I think that spending that much time in one place doing the same thing is turning me batshit insane. I think I finally found a good shift to work, I’ve been trying out a few new daily schedules to see which one works best. 9-12, 12:30-3:30 was nice because I got that nice half hour break and still put in six hours. Today I’m working the typical, eyeball squishing 12:30-5:30, but tomorrow I’ll be doing 9-12, 12:30-3:30 and then 6-9. That’s nine hours of work and I’ve found before that having the few hours between the shifts gives me time to get some stuff done (studying, guitar, cleaning, a bite to eat…) and still do nine hours a day without being burnt out.

In other news, I’ve been trying out a new band called Imogen Heap which is actually really fantastic. Very me, I think, so I’ll be giving them a listen and hope that it catches on. I’ve been feeling pretty stale with my music repertoire as of late.

I’ve been having dreams that I just can’t interpret lately, I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been smoking more weed than usual, but they’ve just been strange. Plots that don’t go anywhere or relate to anything, this lingering feeling that there’s something happening that I can never quite put my finger on… Maybe that in itself is reflective of how I’ve been feeling as of late but I don’t know. I almost feel like having this time on my own will give me the time to meditate and do a bit of self-discovery anyways, it seems like things are all pointing in that direction anyways.

After the party I’m going to paint, get inspired and start doing some good things for myself. I can figure out what I want to do with my life and my time and it’ll be swell.

Speaking of swell, I found this amazing keyboard at the pawn shop for $129 and Lauren and I are hoping to split the cost. I’ve been aching for a piano again and this is the next best thing. That said, maybe I’ll just buy it myself… I wish wish wish that I had more money to spend. I’ve got this vacation to pay for, school to pay for, rent and utilities and all of the little things that I just rely on to get by. What’s a girl to do?

Love list!

Things Couples Do:

Go to bed early and then stay up late talking about nothing
Get into fights about who ate what and how much
Complete each other’s sentences
Bicker constantly about silly details in stories
Get all romantic about domestic things like making dinner and doing dishes
Wake up in the middle of the night and talk for an hour
Read out loud with each other
Help each other with homework
Go to the bathroom together
Have water fights in the shower
Giggle all through sex together
Help each other find things that are lost
Wipe their noses on each other’s stuff
Love each other
Yell really loud
Make the other try new types of food
Get really excited over “Wing and Movie Nights”
Make blogs for reach other
Make each other tea at 5:30 in the morning so they can watch a thunder storm
Sing songs to each other
Quote each other’s favourite songs
Surprise each other with take out
Find the comfiest spot on eachother’s bodies to put our head on
Call each other goofy names like “sugar pants” and “smoobear”
Send lots of texts that often consist of just a few words like “I love you, smoobear!”
Know their entire family history
Clean the house together
Know exactly what the other likes
Rub aloe onto each other’s sunburns
Go on vacations together!
Look at houses and plan where we’ll live
Talk about parenting
Talk about budgeting for a life together
Be a shoulder to cry on
Find clothes that the other will like and make them try it on
Wait patiently while dresses get tried on to ooh and ahh over
Know what the other actually thinks in situations, even when they say otherwise

This is not my song

“Follow the light of a limp cigarette past the places where once we played. But now the trees are all hollowed out and trampled to the ground. it’s hard to remember how it’s come to this.”

I’m not sure what’s got me feeling so disconnected. I’m always up and down but today I just feel so drained of everything that I wish I could just hide away and forget the world. I was feeling grumpy and down, talked to Spencer for a little while and then headed off to the clinic on my bike. It was a really nice ride, and I was proud that I got there by myself after I’d only looked at the directions once. It turned out that it was over-booked when I got there, but I did meet this first time mom with a baby who had a pretty swollen mosquito bite. I gave her some advice because I used to be super allergic to mosquitoes, but laughed because it was such a silly thing for a mom to get worked up about.

By the time I bike rode (uphill) all the way home I was hot and sweaty and thirsty and tired. Lauren was home and had the Peach Schnapps out, but I wasn’t really up for drinking so we all went to Market Fresh to go grocery shopping. I had my first experience at a deli and I think it went pretty well,I guess. I’m terrible at ordering things though.

Anyways, everything was generally okay up until I got back and then Spencer and Lauren started drinking. I just feel ganged up on and out of place. I mean, I love Lauren’s guitar, but everytime we sit down we listen to her play it, and we can’t talk, and both of them yelled at me for going on my computer on the internet that I pay for, and tell me that I’m this and I’m that.

I’m not going to sit and complain about it because it’s over and done with and I don’t really care. It just sucks sometimes because I wish we could all just chill out like we used to.

Here beside me

“I loved you first , I loved you first. Beneath the stars came falling on our heads, but they’re just old light. They’re just old light.”

I’m feeling pretty sick right now. The irony is, I’ve taken two full days off of work under the guise of being sick and now, now I’m actually feeling it. It’s just the rain I hope, but hopefully I’ll be up from under the weather before tonight because I think I need to bike to the clinic to pick up a doctor’s note to confirm I don’t have the Staph infection that’s plaguing our office.

I’m pretty sick of working, and I just got another job at Vector selling knives to people. It’s $18.05 an hour but it’s kind of like selling Tupperware; you buy your own set of knives and then make appointments to show them to people and get paid per appointment. Apparently some guy made $40,000 in his first summer working, but I   that’s probably extraordinary. Anyways, if I was going to do that I’d probably go home for a week at a time to sell to people around Niagara, I know more people who’d be interested in it there and it’d give Erik and I more time to spend together and I know how we’ll both like that.

Anyways, it’s a bit hard to type right now because Charlie’s curled up on my lap and keyboard. I guess she really enjoys watching the words fly across the page. Usually I’d be kind of annoyed at her, she’s been frustrating as hell the past few days, but I’m feeling a bit down so I’m enjoying the company. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with me. I just got a job, my rent is paid, I just got 87.5% on my Cognitive Psychology midterm of which I was convinced I would fail, but I still just feel despondant.

I thought Spencer was here, but maybe he disappeared off for a walk. I wish it wasn’t raining. I wish Erik was here. I could use a good cuddle.

A soft place to rest your head

Glow right into you, I will glow. Right into you I will glow, right into you.

Funny how life goes. I had this big long post before, but I deleted it because I didn’t think it was very worth while. I talked to Kris for a while last night, snuggled with Erik via the phone for a few hours, got up, called into work sick, got the internet set up in my apartment (fuckin’, yeah!), yelled at the cat, and have been talking with Elliot instead of studying for my midterm.

I’ve got more to say, but I’ve got an interview at 12:00 that needs to be gone to. I seriously, seriously am not looking forward to going, I’ve got absolutely nothing “professional” to wear. Shit.