This is not my song

“Follow the light of a limp cigarette past the places where once we played. But now the trees are all hollowed out and trampled to the ground. it’s hard to remember how it’s come to this.”

I’m not sure what’s got me feeling so disconnected. I’m always up and down but today I just feel so drained of everything that I wish I could just hide away and forget the world. I was feeling grumpy and down, talked to Spencer for a little while and then headed off to the clinic on my bike. It was a really nice ride, and I was proud that I got there by myself after I’d only looked at the directions once. It turned out that it was over-booked when I got there, but I did meet this first time mom with a baby who had a pretty swollen mosquito bite. I gave her some advice because I used to be super allergic to mosquitoes, but laughed because it was such a silly thing for a mom to get worked up about.

By the time I bike rode (uphill) all the way home I was hot and sweaty and thirsty and tired. Lauren was home and had the Peach Schnapps out, but I wasn’t really up for drinking so we all went to Market Fresh to go grocery shopping. I had my first experience at a deli and I think it went pretty well,I guess. I’m terrible at ordering things though.

Anyways, everything was generally okay up until I got back and then Spencer and Lauren started drinking. I just feel ganged up on and out of place. I mean, I love Lauren’s guitar, but everytime we sit down we listen to her play it, and we can’t talk, and both of them yelled at me for going on my computer on the internet that I pay for, and tell me that I’m this and I’m that.

I’m not going to sit and complain about it because it’s over and done with and I don’t really care. It just sucks sometimes because I wish we could all just chill out like we used to.